What a surprise! I found a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bright polka-dot gift bag waiting for me on my desk when I arrived at work on a Tuesday morning in early December 2020. Giggles from around the corner let me know that my co-workers at Azure’s headquarters (HQ) office were the happy gift-givers.♡ Mandi (in Accounts Payable) and Gloria (our Commodities Buyer) have a way of making every day joyful with many laugh-out-loud moments. Together with me and David Stelzer, the four of us are the main “office crew” at the HQ location.
To anyone else, the flowers and gifts might have seemed random. It was not my birthday or any special occasion. No, it was just their genuine desire to comfort me with cozy socks, a plush sweater, and the softest blanket you’ll ever touch. I had confided in Mandi the previous Friday that I just didn’t have the bandwidth and energy to do a Christmas gift exchange. I blamed it on the fact that I was concerned about my dad not being well (which was true), but what I didn’t tell her was that I was also worried about my own health. I didn’t tell her that I was in a lot of pain in my guts, had a weird lump in my lower abdomen, and was getting weaker by the day. I kept all this a secret from her and Gloria -- and even David. Only my folks knew. My mom tried to help me with every natural remedy we could think of for what we thought was a bowel issue.
But, by early January 2021, I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. Because of the pain, I started missing work. (Missing work is very unusual for me.) Gloria asked me what I thought was wrong and I blubbered something about treating it like appendicitis since the pain was mostly on my right side. She emphatically told me to get it checked out immediately because it could burst and I could be dead in three hours. When David heard about it, he, too, encouraged me to get checked out. The genuine care and compassion I received from the three closest to me at work would be just the beginning of a year-long journey that would show me just how deeply the Azure Family can love.♡
The Misdiagnosis Set-back
An ultrasound seemed to indicate I had a very large uterine fibroid tumor. So, I started on some very promising natural treatments for shrinking fibroid tumors, while I searched for a doctor to embolize the fibroid. But, the tumor was growing fast. I could tell from one week to the next that it was getting bigger and bigger, and the pain became worse and worse. The new doctor ordered an MRI.
It was excruciating to lay flat on my back for that MRI, and at one point I asked if I could take a break. “No, you’d have to start all over with a new appointment and everything.” I realized that in order for me to get the help I needed, I must push through the pain and accomplish this task. So, after praying for strength, I began thinking of all the wonderful people in my life who would be cheering me on if it were possible for them to be there in the room with me. I thought about so many people who care about me, from my co-workers, to customers, to vendors… the Azure Family.♡
The results of the MRI? Likely cancer. And, the tumor was growing much too rapidly for it to be a uterine fibroid. What next?
My Sudden Trip to Arizona
I had to act fast because this aggressive tumor was trying to kill me. But, I couldn’t think straight because of the pain, and was having trouble holding down food and water. David Stelzer suggested I go to a special clinic in Arizona (Envita Medical Center) where his father-in-law had successfully been treated for Stage 4 Prostate Cancer the previous year. But, how could I get there when I was so weak and sick, couldn’t think, and had no ability to take myself on such a trip?
David told me, “Don’t worry about it. Between your brother and me, we’ll work out all the logistics of getting you there. Just get ready to go.” Wow.♡ His wife, Kimberly, immediately contacted Envita to get me accepted and arranged a place for me to stay. Wow.♡
But, who would go with me? I called Karen (our Customer Experience Officer), and before I even got the words out to ask her to go with me, she blurted out, “Yes! I’ll go with you. God already put it on my heart to go take care of you.” Wow.♡ This was only the beginning of the outpouring of love I would receive and the beginning of many miracles that let me know my Heavenly Father was leading me through this and blessing me along the way.♡
Karen got the needed wheelchairs along the way, and we made it to Arizona. She stayed with me there for 6 weeks. Through the nights of pain before I got prescription painkillers, through the diagnosis of neuroendocrine carcinoma, managing my IV nutrition (TPN) every morning and night and helping me with my hospital stay where it was determined that the tumor was “unresectable”, she was there. Wow.♡
After the unsuccessful attempt in mid-March to remove the 23 cm tumor that made me look 7 months pregnant, I just figured we’d start working on another plan to get rid of it. I was optimistic. I didn’t know that word had gone out to my co-workers at Azure that the tumor was inoperable and I would likely die within 2-4 weeks if the tumor grew big enough to block my intestines. Thankfully, I knew nothing about any sort of dire prognosis, but I’ve heard since then that that day was a mournful day at Azure. Wow.♡ What love in the Azure Family!♡
I remember a Friday early-on when the doctors and patient care coordinators (PCCs) at Envita came to talk to me about the possibility of going home, so I wouldn’t get “stuck in Arizona” if my health declined. Danielle, one of my PCCs, prayed with me and cried. Wow.♡ I realized they were not sure I’d make it and wanted me to be comfortable at home for my final days.
But, I would have none of that kind of talk. Over that weekend, I realized that I couldn’t let them give up on me. I knew God helped me get there, and my life depended on their willingness to keep trying to help me.
I prayed for the Lord's strength and healing, and then, come Monday morning when I went back to the clinic, I mustered up all the good cheer I could find. God had given me new courage and although I only felt a little better physically, it was enough. The doctors at Envita were encouraged by my “weekend turnaround” and began again to find solutions for me. (I later heard that they had spoken with David and Kimberly about my condition. They both encouraged Envita to keep trying to help me. Wow.♡) I recently learned from Karen that during that weekend she called many people and asked them to pray for me. I was put on many church prayer lists and thousands were praying. She tells me that I did indeed improve physically during that weekend and my skin tone changed from gray to its normal flesh color. God answers prayers!♡
Not Alone On the Road To Recovery
I gradually started getting better. Envita’s unique combination of treatments, along with outside treatments, worked together so that after about 3 months I no longer had pain in my abdomen. My lymphedema improved. (At its worst, I had gained 40-50 lbs of water-weight in my legs, and with my weakened muscles, this made the wheelchair quite necessary early on.) I knew I had turned an important corner when I could tie my own shoes without a problem. I was able to start eating again and didn’t need the IV food (TPN). I graduated from a wheelchair to a walker… and eventually from a walker to walking on my own.
Although Karen needed to return home to care for her own family, she got to see my gradual improvement from wheelchair to rollator walker. During those first 6 weeks, Karen wrote a song for me titled, “Hold On To Jesus” and dubbed it “Susan’s Song”. Wow.♡ She sang it to me and shared a recording of it with Clint, our graphic designer (who makes the Azure sale flyers look so beautiful each month). He is multi-talented as both an artist and a musician.
He chose to share the blessing of the song with a friend of his. Wow. ♡ His friend is a professional musician who then chose to record it to share it with others.♡ Karen’s expression of Azure Family Love for me, rippled out to bless so many others. Wow.♡
When Karen was no longer able to stay with me, other co-workers (like Gloria, and Vanessa [our Logistics Manager]) happily took turns spending a week to take care of me. Such an outpouring of Azure Family love.♡ (Other friends and family came to take care of me also, including a high school friend, a friend of the Stelzer family, my brother and eventually my mom.)
It was no easy task to take care of me since each of them tried to keep up with their Azure work duties remotely, while driving me to all my appointments, helping me in and out of the car, running errands, doing laundry, tending my IV feedings (TPN) morning and night, helping me through spells of nausea (or other issues), all while trying to offer emotional support. (Because the nights were often rough for me and I needed assistance just to get out of the recliner chair, home care assistants came most nights to tend to my needs so my day-time care-givers could get some needed sleep.)
In the midst of all the good progress against the cancer, there were complications involving my TPN and electrolyte balance (combined with other exacerbating factors) which caused me to have a severe ventricular tachycardia attack in mid-May that could easily have killed me. This was not directly related to the cancer treatments, but did delay progress considerably. I was also hospitalized for a bowel obstruction, which thankfully resolved itself. Through it all I received an outpouring of love♡ and encouragement from so many.
Love from My Azure Family
I’ve been told that quite a few people inquired at Azure about my well-being when they stopped seeing my articles in the Azure sale flyers. Wow.♡ Such caring concern and love!♡ Although my reason for heading to Arizona was certainly not a “secret”, my co-workers at Azure tried to protect my privacy a bit by simply telling people that I was on medical leave or taking a sabbatical. But, one customer was especially persistent for more information.
Nancy and I had gotten to know each other through a special Azure project. So, when I stopped responding, she became concerned and called Karen to find out what was wrong. Karen let her know I was in Arizona for cancer treatment. Turns out I was within driving distance from Nancy’s home! I knew that Nancy lived in the area, but being a bit shy, I hesitated to reach out to her. I should not have been shy, and I’m glad she wasn’t! She sent me a card and soon she and her daughter and son-in-law all came to visit me at my apartment. Wow.♡ It was a wonderful experience to spend time with others from the Azure Family… kindred spirits with the same interests and goals for good health. While I was in Arizona they came to visit several times. Wow.♡
I later learned that other customers from the Phoenix area would have liked to come to see me if they had known I was in the area. Wow.♡ People really care!
It wasn’t just Azure customers who showed such care and compassion. As a former supplemental insurance salesman to Azure, Todd had become friends with some of my co-workers. Even though he didn’t know me personally (yet), he reached out to offer his help if I ever needed anything because he lived near the apartment where I was staying. Wow.♡ Over the 4th of July weekend I was doing particularly well and he took me and my caregivers that week (Gloria and her young son) to the Phoenix Zoo where I got to ride a camel! I feel so blessed to have been cared for by so many in the larger Azure Family. Wow.♡
Other friends and acquaintances came to visit me too, and although I wasn’t at my “best”, relationships were strengthened, and the Azure Family grew. Our Purchasing Assistant, Janet, works remotely and happens to live in Arizona several hours drive from where I was staying. She made a special trip to come see me and pray with me earnestly for God’s healing. Wow.♡
I was encouraged and humbled by all the cards, flowers, artwork, donations, and gifts I received. I know many people across the country were (and are) praying for me.
What an amazing Family -- the Azure Family.♡
Blessing Results From a Bowel Blockage
By the end of August, I was doing quite well and was able to “ring the bell” at Envita to celebrate the progress so far. I still had the tumor in my belly, but it was now “dead” and it caused no pain. Since we couldn’t find a surgeon in the Phoenix area willing to remove it, I headed home to Oregon, determined to find a surgeon in the Portland area to take on the challenge.
It's amazing to see the work of our Heavenly Father in my life. I was only home for 2 days over Labor Day weekend before I was hit with another bowel obstruction. This one did not resolve on its own and I soon found myself at Providence-Portland hospital where a large team of talented surgeons attempted the risky surgery of fixing the bowel blockage and removing the tumor. I knew it was seriously risky when, not one but two chaplains came to visit me in the days before the major-major surgery.
The surgery was a success! Praise the LORD!♡ Pathology tests on the tumor that was removed showed no signs of cancer whatsoever, something that completely amazed the oncologist. (Details in Envita Case Study.)
I was not allowed visitors during my 2½ week stay at the hospital in Portland, so I was particularly grateful for those who called me (or texted, Zoomed, Marco Polo’d or otherwise used digital tools to stay close). I sincerely appreciated this kind of communication all throughout my 6-month ordeal, actually. Everyone was careful to give me “space” to heal, but I always enjoyed visiting and chatting when I was up to it. On occasion, I would need to call David Stelzer about something small and the call would turn into an opportunity for him to tell me all about the summer fruit harvest or other good things happening at Azure. This made me feel connected to my roots at Azure. I liked that.♡ Clint would reach out by text first to see how I was doing and then we’d chat on the phone. He let me know just how much I was missed and cared about at Azure. Wow.♡
Homecoming Joy & Recovery
I came home to recover and have gradually gained strength to become a “normal” human again. I’ve continued to experience an outpouring of love even now.♡ For example, I received a very caring note from Blake Alexandre of Alexandre Family Farms.♡ Also, when I went to our Warehouse in Moro recently, I got to see two of our long-time truck drivers, Greg and Scott, who happened to be there together at the same time. I know that so many people have been praying for me. Prayers were answered and it’s just so special to be able to experience the Azure Family Love.♡
In future articles, I’d like to share with my Azure Family what I have learned from this experience as a way to “give back”. I can fill you in on what I did, what I might have done differently had I known then what I know now, and all the important things I learned through this journey. Let me know what you’re most interested in hearing.
Reflecting on Love
Love alone won’t save a person from sickness or death. If it did, many of our ♡loved♡ ones would still be among us -- like my dad. But, I’m convinced that love for each other can surely help us through life’s journey to keep us healthy, prevent disease, and provide comfort in loss. I’ve experienced that love, and I’m grateful.♡ Because of this experience I have been inspired to encourage and support others more -- to love♡ more -- to express the Azure Family Love more.♡
My health journey is still unfolding, as is everyone’s. We are all looking to have better health, to improve our longevity and quality of life so we can Love Longer.♡ As part of the Azure Family, I encourage you to reach out to the other customers at your local Azure Drop. Make friends, find common interests, support each other.
Enjoy being here - together. Share life. Share the Azure Family Love.♡
In this first of 4 videos in the series, Susan Booth and Kimberly Stelzer begin telling the story behind Susan's journey through cancer and how the connection with Doc Kellogg's cancer experience was so important.